


Visiting M

by Zephyrfox



Series: Real Legend [8]
Category: GoldenEye (1995), James Bond (Classic movies), James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), Legends (2014), Merlin (TV), Sherlock (TV), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Creative Bingo, M/M, Tumblr Creative Bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 18:58:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7945576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zephyrfox/pseuds/Zephyrfox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mallory has to deal with the headaches named Bond, Q, and Trevelyan. Tanner and Moneypenny don't help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Visiting M

**Author's Note:**

> This is my response for the Tumblr Creative Bingo September 1 wordlist. My words were: Carnal, Anytime, Crew, Clay, Rabbit, Code, and Contagious.

M stared in disapproval at the ragged crew standing in front of him. “Well?” 

Bond and Trevelyan stood at something approximating attention. They exchanged a quick glance before snapping their gazes back to stare steadily in front of them.

The Quartermaster, on the other hand, shifted slightly and opened his mouth to speak. He got an elbow in the side from Bond before he could say anything. Q slanted a disgruntled look at Bond, but faced forward again and kept quiet. 

He huffed a sigh. “I’m not the enemy, you know. I thought we’d established this.”

Apparently the silence wasn’t contagious — Tanner spoke up from his spot leaning against the wall. “It is irregular, but they didn’t use any actual MI6 equipment.”

He shot a glare at at his Chief of Staff. “The fact that they used the Quartermaster’s own prototypes does not —” 

“They  _ bugged  _ their son, Tanner. Irregular doesn’t even begin to cover it!” Moneypenny interjected, coming up to stand in front of the trio. She folded her arms, disapproval apparent in every line of her stance.

“An explanation, please, gentlemen?” He eyed them again, and then focused on the Quartermaster as the likeliest to break first.

To his surprise, it was Trevelyan, instead.

“Well it’s  _ Aiden. _ He was going on an overnight school trip and didn’t want any of us going along to chaperone.” Trevelyan’s voice took on a sullen, injured tone, “I don’t know why.”

After what these three did, M knew exactly why Aiden didn’t want his dads to be anywhere near that school trip. 

“So the three of you decided that planting a bug on your son was the best course of action?” He injected a note of disbelief in his voice and watched while the three miscreants in front of him gave him variations of the same baffled look.

The Quartermaster spoke up finally, “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“We just wanted to make sure he was safe.” Trevelyan’s eyes widened innocently.

_ Innocent my arse. _ M prepared himself to give a blistering admonition but Moneypenny exploded before he could get a word out.

“Really? I can’t believe — do you three  _ really _ think it was appropriate to tag a child with a  _ monitoring device? _ It isn’t even legal! You were violating his rights, and the rights of the other children on the trip!”

“Thank you, Miss Moneypenny, I’ll take it from here.” He gave her a stern look, hoping that she would leave the dressing down to him. He heard a choking sound, so he shot a quelling glance Tanner’s way as well. 

He noted the odd gleam in Tanner’s eye with suspicion, but decided to ignore the potential insubordination. He took a deep breath, “Leaving out the possible legal ramifications, this has become an international incident.”

Q huffed, sounding rather put out. “How was I supposed to know that an ambassador’s son was going to be on the trip? Or that his bodyguards would have detection equipment?”

“We might have been able to put a positive spin on that — if  _ Bond hadn’t attacked the bodyguard!” _ He blinked, surprised that he’d lost control enough to bellow.

Bond shrugged, unrepentant. “I thought he was going to kidnap Aiden.”

M pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping to ward off the headache that was threatening. It didn’t help. “You put the man in the hospital!”

“Of course. I couldn’t kill him — there were children present!” Bond had the gall to sound indignant.

M steadfastly ignored the muffled snicker coming from Tanner’s direction and the nearly audible eyeroll from Moneypenny.

Muffled strains of the X-Files theme rang through the air. Bond and Trevelyan stiffened, their attention snapping to the Quartermaster like a pair of hunting dogs.

Q dug out his cell phone and snapped it open. “Yes?” He covered the mouthpiece and looked at his lovers, “It’s Merlin. I’ll put him on speaker.”

M threw his hands in the air in exasperation. “Oh, please do. Take your brother’s call, you’re only getting a lecture from your employer.” Everyone ignored him.

Trevelyan and Bond crowded closer to the Quartermaster, their attention on the phone.

“Q?” Merlin’s voice sounded a bit tinny from the phone’s speaker, “I’ve got a message from Arthur for you. He said ‘green rabbit,’ and you owe him a favor.”

“Green Rabbit? I thought the code was going to be Clay something-or-other,” Trevelyan said to Bond, who shushed him.

“Good, thank you, Merlin,” Q said into the phone.

“Anytime! You owe us one, brother. We’ll see you later.” There was a click as the call ended. 

Q folded the phone and tucked it back into his pocket. He looked at Trevelyan with a smirk. “Yes, it was supposed to be Clay 'something-or-other' as you say, but Sherlock suggested Green Rabbit.”

“What was that all about?” M was pleased that he could get that out in a level voice.

“Arthur is watching over Aiden,” Q replied matter-of-factly.

“But he’s still on the school trip — Oh my God. You got your brother, brother-in-law, and cousin to help, didn’t you?” Moneypenny didn’t wait for confirmation, “Isn’t there  _ anyone _ in your family who understands normal human behavior?”

Q tilted his head, frowning as if he didn’t quite understand. “Well, there’s John.” 

At that point, Tanner’s muffled snickers became loud guffaws, and Moneypenny shot him a look that said,  _ et tu, brute? _

M thought longingly of the lovely bottle of paracetamol in his desk drawer. “Fine! I give up. All of you, get out. Don’t do this again, all right? Maybe I can convince the Prime Minister it was some sort of test for the ambassador’s protection detail…”

He watched as Bond leaned over and whispered something to Trevelyan as the group filed out of the office. Trevelyan responded with a wicked grin. Whatever it was, the Quartermaster obviously overheard — his grin was positively carnal. Moneypenny and Tanner ignored the three in favor of bickering with each other.

M slumped into his chair as the door closed. He slid the bottom drawer of his desk open and reached inside. He stared at the bottle he pulled out. It wasn’t the paracetamol. It was the brandy. 

The bottle was full. He made a mental note to bring in another one tomorrow. He was sure he’d end up needing it.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr at leavesdancing.tumblr.com


End file.
